#tallgirlproblems

My height is something I really struggled with, especially during my time at high school. From liking my height to hating it, and then growing to love it all over again, this is my personal journey of growing up as a tall girl.

I can’t remember ever being short. I know I must have been at some point, but I can only remember being tall. I was taller than most people I knew my age, including family and classmates, and I always struggled to fit into my clothes (almost as soon as my parents bought me new clothes, I would outgrow them!). I didn’t mind it though. In fact, I actually felt proud of it – I liked being taller than everyone around me at primary school. I guess it made me feel quite powerful!

The only time I remember feeling annoyed by my height during my younger years was when I was around 9. Suddenly, I was too tall to join in when my friends had birthday parties at indoor soft play centres: I towered above the recommended height for entry. So that wasn’t fun. I still didn’t hate my height though.

But then I went up to high school. Suddenly being taller then everyone in the class lost its appeal because not many people seemed to accept that I was tall. My classmates – especially the boys – seemed to feel intimidated by my height. And so, as is always the case when people are made to feel uncomfortable by something, I was picked on.

I became known for my height. Comments such as ‘the tall girl’, ‘lanky’, ‘giant’, and ‘what’s the weather like up there?’ were used freely. I was told ‘only guys are that tall’. People seemed to think it was okay to call me things like ‘Big Bird’, ‘tree’, ‘giraffe’. Looking back, these comments were really childish and silly. However, they worked as I was made to feel like I stood out for the wrong reasons and that there was something wrong with me.

I wasn't even that tall (I’m 5’ 10”). However, because I’d hit puberty early and was at my adult height in Year 7, that caused issues. Suddenly, I was made to feel bad about something I had previously loved about myself. I was made to feel like it was wrong, embarrassing, unfeminine.

This affected me in a couple of ways: I hunched up my shoulders and walked with my head bowed, trying to make myself appear smaller. I became quieter, withdrawing into myself as I felt like I was already drawing attention to myself with my height. I was made to feel like no boys would ever like me because I was taller than most of them. Basically, I started feeling bitter about my body for being different from other people’s.

It wasn’t just these outright negative comments that upset me though. So many people of all ages told me I must be good at sports like basketball or netball ‘because you are tall.’ Not because I was skilled or dedicated to becoming a good sportsperson or anything. No, it was just because I was tall. I really hated these assumptions. Another line I tired of hearing was ‘you should be a model’. Now, you are probably wondering why I’m complaining about this as it sounds like a compliment, but again, it was the assumption that I should only do or become something because of my height. And in both of these examples, I was being seen purely in physical terms – my personality didn’t come into it.

Clothing was another issue. Nothing ever fit me properly as I was growing. Sleeves came up too short and trousers skimmed the tops of my ankles so a lot of the time I had to go for clothes sizes that were bigger than I actually was just to have them cover up my limbs a bit more. Shoes have always been a nightmare: I’m a size 8 so there tends to be fewer choices in shoes of this size and if you have a bigger shoe size than this it’s even harder to find shoes that you like and that fit. And heels are a big no-no. I was made to feel like I was too tall already, so heels never came into the question. In this sense, clothes also made me feel like my body was wrong.

Going back to the part about being taller than guys – before I started this post I did some research to see how tall girls in relationships are depicted. Can you think of a film or tv show or anything in the media where the girl is taller than the guy in the relationship (unless it’s done for comic effect)? I know I couldn’t think of any off the top of my head. However, it also looks like Hollywood is actively making sure that females aren’t the tall ones in relationships. Take a look at this poster of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games) below:

They are both of a similar height, but Peeta looks an inch or so taller than Katniss.

Then compare that to what Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson (who play these characters in the film) look like in reality:

Imagine seeing them together in the film like that? You can’t really. The sad message behind this though is that society doesn’t like seeing women who are taller than their male partners. Why though? Why is it okay for guys to date shorter girls, but not the other way around? This stigma surrounding taller girls having shorter boyfriends definitely played a part in making me feel like my body was wrong and unwanted by society.

So how did I learn to overcome all of these negative feelings and ignore the messages from the media about my height and learn to accept and love it? Well, it took a while but several influences and changes in my life helped me:

My friends and family played a major part: yes, they did (and still do) make the odd references to my height, but they never did/do it in a way that makes me feel bad about it. Instead, they make me feel good about it! And they see past my height to who I really am for which I am grateful.

I started to count all the positives about my height instead of the negatives (so I get kind of cramped squeezing into bus seats but at least I get great views when I go to gigs!).

But most importantly, I actively changed my mindset. I realised it wasn’t me who had a problem with my body, but it was other people. And I then realised these people weren’t worth bothering about – they certainly weren’t bothered by the way they made me feel! I also made myself stop and think about all the amazing things my body does for me which allows me to enjoy life every day (we all need reminding about this sometimes). And compared to that, snide comments didn’t seem so significant anymore. Because I love and appreciate my body and I won’t let other people tell me my body is wrong anymore.

Because of these things I am now happy with my body. I never try to make myself look shorter (I even wear heels now!) and I don’t worry how tall I look when standing next to other people. I am tall and I am proud of it. I also look at girls who are my height and taller and think how amazing they look – I no longer see our height as an abnormality.

I am no longer just ‘the tall girl’ anymore. I am me. And I won’t be defined by my body.

Have you ever struggled with your height? How have you fought back against any anxieties?

#puberty #tall #height #tallgirlproblems #highschool #media #ownit