Own That Afro!

Paige Jackson
Oct 18, 2016
6 min read

When most people hear the word Afro what often comes to mind is big and round 70’s/80’s style with leather flares and orange platforms or 90’s hip hop fresh off the block Will Smith high tops. Now it seems that Afro’s are coming back in style, but I disagree.

“Afro’s never did die out in the first place they were just lying low.”

I’ve worn my Afro with great pride now for about 4 years but before that, I spent over a decade hiding my natural kinky roots under caustic chemical relaxers (perms); these are chemical ridden lotions applied to the hair in order to breakdown the curly structures into straight ones. This way the new strands resemble the texture and appearance of straighter European hair, it is only when new hair grows from the follicle (roots) that the natural curls become visible again.

Now people, I am not here to judge, criticise or point the finger at anybody - ‘cos that simply ain’t cool! But I want to share some of my personal experiences rooted deep in insecurity and lack of self-love which lead me to engage in very bad hair choices. So, firstly I’m going to put it out there: do whatever the jaffa cake you want to do with your hair, it’s yours not anybody else's and only you have the right to make any such judgments and decisions as to what goes on from the scalp up! I’ve had strangers, teachers, friends and even my own parents try to dictate my hair choices and although sometimes these comments have come from a place of love, I’ve learnt to let them go because ultimately only my decisions can lead to my genuine happiness and comfort.

Secondly, don’t beat yourself up about making bad hair choices, or for that matter any bad choices in life, the most important thing is to learn from them and allow those experiences to educate you and re-inform your future decisions. Nobody is perfect and nobody is ever 100% all day everyday, try and let go a little and let things be as they are.

Thirdly, I believe it is important to recognise that hair is not the be all and end all but it can come loaded with a lot of emotional baggage, our hair can dictate how we feel and how we feel can dictate our hair. People may say some lovely and kind things about our locks and tresses whilst others will make the concerted effort to fire comments laced in malice and poison - what can I say haters gonna hate - and the sad thing is half the time we don’t even realise how personally we respond to people’s opinions and how seriously we internalise feedback on our appearances, which in turn can profoundly affect the way in which we define ourselves. So take it upon yourself to be more aware and check in every now and then to ask yourself what is true and what is absolute nonsense; and warning in advance 99% is often nonsense and irrelevant information. Having said that, be doubly conscious about what you project onto others and comments you make about others’ appearance, try placing the shoe on the other foot.

So here’s how it’s going to go, I’m going to share with you a bit about my hair journey, I’ll try and keep it concise and to the point despite my loquacious proclivities to babble and ramble on. Then I’ll leave you with some links to online resources to check out. At this point I would also like to say that this blog entry on the whole may appear to lean towards a particular type of experience, I identify as a cis female and so of course I understand that my opinions and experiences may be limited by this and in and of the fact that I am an individual and there is only one of me, but I write with every effort and intent to welcome all readers.

So I am British, I am black and I am of mixed Caribbean and European heritage. I was born and raised in what I would identify as a predominantly Caucasian environment which massively impacted the way that I defined and understood myself; psychology, it gets deep! Most of my friends, my teachers, strangers on the street did not look like me, certainly did not have the same hair as me, even my own mother’s hair was far from mine in texture, shape and length. So I quite happily and obliviously lived with my natural ‘fro up until the age of about 7 to 8 years before my mom decided to relax my hair. Looking back, I was so very young and it was the combination of me wanting to have the hair that everybody else around me had and my mom not wanting to spend anything over an hour cornrowing my hair, that lead to the final decision to start relaxing my hair at such a delicately young age. It’s important to note at this point that with hair relaxers, once the process has begun there is no going back. You have to continue to relax the roots every few weeks or so otherwise the hair will start to break off. The combination of kinky roots and chemically treated ends leads to very weak hair, so it’s quite a seismic decision to make, for some people it’s a lifelong commitment. I continued to relax my hair for about a decade, all the way through my teens - as if there weren’t enough problems to deal with.

It was ridiculously expensive to get done and at one point I was relaxing my hair every 6 weeks, which was quite honestly shameful. As the chemicals are applied directly to the roots, practically on the scalp, I endured a lot of scalp and neck burns to the skin. I was extremely fortunate never to get any infections, but many men and women that get burnt by relaxers unfortunately do. Hair relaxer also has a very peculiar smell, I would describe it as a very potent rancid boiled egg aroma which never seemed to wash out for the first week after treatment. As the years passed, the relaxer insidiously weakened and thinned out my hair until I was barely left with very much to tie into a ponytail. By this point I hated my natural hair and I was totally convinced that I would never ever stop relaxing my hair, but in the end I didn’t have a choice but to shave off all but an inch or 2 of my roots. Finally, I could stop worrying and spending a good 85% of my time preoccupied with the the condition of my hair and what other people thought about me. Oh the liberation and relief! I cried for 10 minutes as I stared at my reflection in the mirror at the salon, an alchemy of every single emotion under the sun rushed through my body as I released the burden of years and years of insecurity and shame. In the fours years since returning to my virgin hair I have not done anything to it but wash it, shape it and moisturise it. Not chemicals, no heat, no manufactured lotions just water, occasionally shampooed and conditioned and plenty of coconut oil to lock in the moisture. I’ve also discovered just how versatile and creative you can get with Afro’s, I’ve rocked everything from big round and loud, to box high top, to less than a pixie crop, right now it’s super short and easy to maintain.

Whatever you do with your hair people, do it from a place of love and confidence. Relax your hair, braid your hair, weave your, hair extend your hair, dread your hair, dye your hair, don’t do anything to your hair, whatever, but do it for yourself and do it from a place of self-love. And if it’s an Afro, Own that Afro to infinity and beyond!